The Grey Area
by zoegrover
Summary: Two years after the Battle of Endor, the New Republic is finally on secure footing. When Leia Organa-Solo is reunited with someone from her childhood, her world is shaken to its core, and she is forced to question everything she believes in. Disclaimer- all characters (except for my OC) and places belong to Lucas Films. TRIGGER WARNINGS FOUND AT THE BEGINNING OF CHAPTERS!
1. Chapter 1

**PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING!**

 **This story takes place roughly two years after** _ **Return of the Jedi.**_ **I know that many stories about the New Republic place the capital in Coruscant. However, according to research I did, the capital actually rotated from one planet to another every few years. This story takes place when the capital was located in Hanna City, Chandrilla, so I decided to go with it (this will probably be the last time I stick to canon). If you see a glaring mistake (and think it can be fixed and still make sense in the story), please let me know! Happy reading!**

The sun was just beginning to barely peek up from below the horizon behind the towering skyline of Hanna City, Chandrilla when a small, sleek, grey ship docked. The ramp hissed open, and the sound of boots clicking against metal echoed throughout the empty air as the captain made their way down. They oozed confidence and sophistication even in the artificial lights of the landing platform. The official waiting at the bottom of the ramp gulped slightly when the figure made their way to the bottom of the ramp.

"I need you to…uh… sign here," the Official stammered out. "Just to confirm your identity and say that you agree with our rules and regulations."

The holopad and accompanying stylus was plucked out of his hands without a word and was signed with a flourish.

"Anything else?"

"Nothing that needs to be done now. Would you like to pay in advance for however long you are staying?"

"That won't be necessary," they said, grabbing the small bag they had with them. "I won't be staying long."

…

Across the city, Leia Organa-Solo awoke to her alarm blaring so loudly she almost fell out of bed. She quickly shut her alarm off and turned to feel for the body of her husband, hoping to have a few moments of quiet with him before heading off to the Senate. Leia found nothing but a cold bed and a note hastily scribbled on flimsi in her husband's messy scrawl. _Leia_ , it said, _got called in for emergency meeting. You still had an hour to sleep, so I didn't wake you. See you at lunch._

Leia leaned back against the pillows and sighed heavily. She always hated waking up to an empty bed. Once Han had been rescued from carbonite, they had rarely slept apart, and since their marriage a little over a year ago, they had very rarely awakened alone. On rare occasions when it did happen, Leia was always the one to slip out the door silently, leaving Han sleeping in the darkened room, not the other way around.

She flicked on her lamp and pulled the covers up to her chin. They hadn't lived in this apartment long. Before they got married, they had gone back and forth between sleeping on the Falcon or in the apartment that the New Republic had gifted her. The apartment had always felt cold and sterile to her, so Leia jumped at the chance for her and Han to get an apartment all their own.

It was located on the top floor of the tallest residential buildings in the city which provided them with amazing views. The common spaces boasted views of the city skyline, but both of the bedrooms offered sweeping views of the shoreline only a few kilometers from their doorstep. The entire apartment had been furnished by Chewbacca's mate, Malla, as a wedding gift to them.

The bedroom was by far Leia's favorite room. A beautiful hand-carved bed made by Chewbacca and his son took up most of the space and was piled high with pillows and blankets that were impossibly soft. Thick, heavy, curtains woven by Malla covered the windows, keeping the morning light from flooding the room. A cozy armchair that Carlist Rieekan had made for her to look like one she had in her room on Alderaan was turned towards the window with a thick woven blanket draped over the back. This room was her sanctuary.

The shrill ringing of Leia's work comm shook her out of her thoughts.

"Organa-Solo here," Leia said turning it on reluctantly.

"Sorry to bother you so early," Carlist's gravelly voice said. "But it's important."

"What's wrong," Leia said, sitting up straighter in bed.

"Nothing's wrong. Well depending how you look at it, I guess something could be wrong."

"What happened?"

"We found her."

"Found who?"

"Celestina Barone."

Leia inhaled sharply.

"Where," she spat out after a moment.

"She's here. She's in Hanna City. Celestina arrived two hours ago and hasn't even tried to disguise who she is."

"Good," Leia said, swinging her feet to the floor. "It makes it that much easier to arrest her and put her on trial."

"You know you don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"Arrest your childhood friend and put her on trial for serving the Empire. No one will look down on you for removing yourself from this case."

"I made a promise that I would personally help bring to justice every high-ranking Imperial Officer. She is no exception."  
"Okay," Carlist said after a beat. "We're sending a team out to arrest her now. If all goes well, her trial will take place tomorrow."

"I'll be at the Senate in an hour."

"See you then Princess. Rieekan out."

Leia threw her comm down onto her bed and walked over to the window. She closed her eyes and let out a deep shaky breath. Then, she threw open the curtains.

…

The Senate Plaza was all but deserted when Luke Skywalker made his way to the east building. The lower floor was open to the public and had a large balcony wrapped around the other side. It was the perfect place to watch the sunrise over the water as he waited for Leia to arrive and for Han to get out of his meeting. He nodded to the security guard on his way inside and stepped across the threshold of one of the large glass doors that were thrown open and lead to the balcony. He rested his hands on the cool marble of the balcony and closed his eyes.

He still wasn't used to being able to spend as much time as his heart desired outside. Even when the sun was down, Tatooine had been so hot that you couldn't spend more than an hour outside before overheating. During his time in the Rebellion, they had been stationed on planets with more of a neutral climate, but there was very little time to actually enjoy it. However, this was the first planet that he had ever been to that had an actual ocean. Luke took a deep breath, letting the salt air sting his lungs.

"It's beautiful here," a voice said off to the side making his eyes fly open.

Luke abruptly turned towards the source of the voice, jumping slightly.

"Sorry," the woman who had spoken said, "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't," Luke said quickly. "I just don't normally see anybody out here this early in the morning."

The woman turned back to face the water, and Luke took that time to study her. She was petite, and despite her wearing heels that added a good four inches to her frame, she still looked like she was shorter than him. She had dark brown hair that was very similar to Leia's, but in the light of the rising sun, her hair appeared to be streaked with gold. It was tied up in an intricate braid that seemed it took hours to do. A stone of some kind glinted on her earlobe, and almost all her fingers were adorned with silver rings.

"Do you come out here often in the mornings," she asked turning back to face him.

When she made eye contact with him, it took everything in him not to audibly gasp. The irises of her eyes were black- so black he couldn't distinguish between her irises and her pupils. Suddenly, he realized that her mouth was moving.

"Excuse me," he asked shaking himself back to the present.

"I asked again if you come here most mornings," she said, the corners of her mouth turning up the beginning of a smile. "You didn't seem to hear me the first time."

"No," he said taking a few steps towards her. "I only come here if my sister or her husband have an early meeting. Have you been here before? I've never seen you."

"I've never been to this planet before, let alone this particular Senate building."

"Well, what do you think?" Luke asked motioning towards the water.

"I've been to a lot of planets," she said almost reverently, "but there are very few places that compare to this one in beauty. It's absolutely beautiful."

She turned back to the water again, lost in her thoughts.

"I'm Luke Skywalker by the way," Luke said sticking out his hand.

She turned back to face him and looked back and forth between his face and his hand. Eventually she took his hand in hers.

"It's nice to meet you, Luke Skywalker," she said, giving him a slight smile.

"Aren't you going to tell me your name," he asked when she dropped his hand.

"Well that takes all the fun out of it," she teased, her eyes dancing with laughter. "Right now, I'm the mystery girl you met on a balcony watching the sunrise. If I tell you who I am, all the mystery is gone."

"You know who I am."

"Everyone knows who you are, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. You can't go anywhere in this galaxy without being recognized. You," she explained, gently poking his chest, "are a hero."

Before Luke could respond, a group of ten men, all wearing military grade armor and carrying blasters, burst out onto the balcony.

"General Celestina Amista Barone," one called out while the others' blasters pointed at her, "you are under arrest by the New Republic for your service to the Empire."

Luke stared at her, opened-mouthed.

"It was nice to meet you Skywalker," she said, winking at him.

She stood still as two of the men rushed forwards. One put his blaster to her chest, and the other handcuffed her hands from behind. Celestina didn't even try to struggle as they lead her away.

…

Leia took a seat at a long table to the left of the Chief Justice of the Republic Tribunals, Margareta Lucasta. Carlist Rieekan sat to Leia's left, and Senator Kennith Tomas and Senator Pooja Naberrie to the Chief Justice's right. They had all volunteered to help try the Imperial Officers that were captured and brought in since they had yet to appoint any Justices to the Tribunal.

Leia, along with many other Senators, would have preferred that all the officers brought in be immediately sent to prison or sentenced to death depending on the severity of the crime, but Chancellor Mon Mothma had insisted that they prove that the New Republic would be fair to all Imperials. Standing at the table, facing the spot in the room where Celestina would stand, were around twenty senators and other officials, wishing to catch a glimpse of the accused before the trial later on.

"Are you sure that you are okay?" Carlist asked, leaning over so only she could hear.

"Fine," she said taking a sip from the bottle of water placed in front of her. "Perfectly fine."

The Chief Justice gave two men standing at a small door off to the side a signal, and Celestina was lead into the room, flanked by two guards. Leia almost didn't recognize her, and judging by Carlist's sharp intake of breath, he didn't either. It had been almost fifteen years since the two of them had been in the same room, and nothing about her was the same. Gone was the shy, awkward, gangly little girl that she used to be, and in her place stood a confident woman who had defiantly grown into her body.

She held her head high, despite facing the group of people that would determine what her future held, and though she was dressed in simple outfit of tailored green pants, a white button-down shirt, and black heels, she carried herself as though she was the best-dressed woman in the room. The only think about her that remained the same was her caramel-colored skin that was dotted with freckles only a shade darker and her large, almost black, eyes.

"Please state your name," the Chief Justice said."

"Celestina Amista Barone," she said, staring at the wall behind them.

"For security purposes, we need to verify that you really are you say you are," she said, motioning to a young woman who walked up to her with a fingerprint scanner.

The woman quickly scanned her fingerprint and nodded at the Chief Justice when it came back positive.

"Just to be sure, we also would like to swab the inside of your cheek to ensure your DNA matches what we have on file."

Celestina opened her mouth to allow someone to take a sample.

"What are you going to do know? Take my blood," she asked, looking at the people at the table for the first time.

"We can arrange that if you'd like," Leia spat out.

"That won't be necessary Senator," Justice Lucasta cut in. "General Barone, I'm sure you're aware that this is merely a formality to ensure that we have the right person in our courtroom. Two days from now, you will have a trial to decide what punishment you shall receive for your crimes. Your jury will be myself, Chief Justice Lucasta, and the others you see before you at this table, Senators Organa-Solo, Naberrie, and Tomas and General Rieekan. Once the trial is finished, you will taken to serve your sentence immediately. You, obviously, cannot leave our custody, so is there anything that you would like us to do to put your affairs in order?"

"Yes," she said slowly. "Two things actually. First is my ship. I found it in a junkyard on the Outer Rim. It's either really old or really rare because I haven't been able to fine what model it is, but after a lot of work, it runs perfectly. I don't care what you do to it, I just don't want it to be taken apart for parts or left to rot in a junkyard somewhere."

"Alright, what else?"

"There is a bouquet of Starflowers sitting in a vase in the galley of my ship. I read that there's an Alderran memorial garden somewhere around here. I'd like them to be placed there," she said, looking around the room almost pleadingly. "For… for my parents."

The room went silent. Everyone stood still as they looked at her. The tension in the room was almost tangible. No one wanted to help honor the people that created an Imperial General.

"I'll do it," Rieekan said breaking the silence.

"Thank you," she said, visibly relaxing.

"Very well, then," the Chief Justice said, standing up. "We will see you tomorrow."

 **Please leave a review! Also- special thanks to formerAnnie for betaing this chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Leia took a sip of her caf as she listened to the chatter that filled the small diner. It was mere blocks from the Senate and was a frequent destination for Leia and some of her fellow senators. The food was mediocre but fast which made it perfect for them. Han and Luke sat across from her in the booth, deeply engaged in a conversation about ships. Leia had lost interest seconds into the conversation and was now focusing her attention to the holovisions that lined the wall above the counter.

"And now to talk about the big event today, the trial of Imperial General, Celestina Barone," said the reporter on screen.

All conversation in the diner stopped and attentions switched from their conversations to the holovision, Luke and Han included.

"General Barone has the reputation of being the most feared and deadly general in the Imperial Army, even earning herself the nickname the Angel of Death. It is unclear exactly what the General will be charged with, but it is expected that she will be sentenced to life in prison or even death!"

Whispers traveled around the diner. Though the death penalty was an option, no Imperial had been sentenced to death during the course of the Tribunals.

"To make this even more complicated," the reporter continued, "General Barone grew up in the Alderaanian palace alongside Senator Organa-Solo and was reportedly close to General Rieekan. There has been some concern that their connection may make the Senator's and General's opinion biased, but the Chief Justice has assured us that it will not change the outcome of the trial. Right now, we'll take a break, but when we come back, we will take you right outside the Senate building."

Once the holovision cut to ads, the diner was filled again with chatter, this time however, about the upcoming trial.

"You okay, Sweetheart?" Han asked, making Leia's attention snap away from the news.

"Fine," she said with a tight smile. "It's just a trial."

"The trial of your childhood friend," Luke pointed out.

"Exactly, _childhood_ friend."

"Leia…" Han said.

"The last time I saw her, she was ten years old. She's changed. We both have. General Barone is not the same person I grew up with. She's an Imperial now."

"She doesn't seem that bad," Luke muttered.

"You do know they call her the Angel of Death, right?" Leia asked waving her fork at him. "There's a reason for that. Besides, you didn't talk to her like I did."

"I did talk to her."

Both Han and Leia turned to him in shock, Leia's fork dropping to the table with a loud clatter.

"What?" Leia asked, her voice going up a few octaves.

"I went out on the East Balcony to wait for Han, and she was there. We talked for a second before she was arrested."

"What did she say to you?" Han asked.

"She just said something about how beautiful it was, and I introduced myself. Then the guards came out and took her away."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me this!" Leia exclaimed.

"Congrats kid, you successfully kept a secret from your twin for the first time ever- How does it feel?" Han joked.

Leia shot him a dirty look and turned back to Luke.

"I didn't tell you because there's nothing to tell. Besides, when I saw you, you were ranting about how horrible she was. It didn't exactly seem the right time to tell you that I met her," Luke said sipping his caf.

"He's right, Princess," Han said, "you were pretty riled up when you got home.

Leia pursed her lips slightly and glanced down at her chrono.

"Kriff," she said standing up. "I have to go. I'll see you in the courtroom?"

"We'll be there," Han said, kissing her cheek softly.

Once she left, Han turned to Luke.

"What was she like?"

…

Carlist Rieekan slipped into the courtroom moments before the trial was supposed to start.

"Where were you?" Leia hissed.

"Alderaan Memorial Garden. I went to clear my head and lost track of time."

"Nice of you to join us Senator Rieekan," Chief Justice Lucasta cut in.

"I apologize for my lateness Chief Justice. It won't be an issue again."

The Justice merely nodded before turning to a guard.

"We are ready to begin."

The courtroom fell silent when the guard disappeared behind a door. The courtroom was arranged like an amphitheater with a circle of chairs surrounding a small platform on three sides. The jury sat at a long table with their backs to the audience and faced a small table where the accused was to sit. Reporters filled the closest rows, their holovoids already snapping rapidly. Han and Luke were sitting just behind Leia, and as they waited, Leia turned back to them and was greeted with reassuring smiles.

The door opened and Celestina was led out by a guard with two following close behind. They took her to the table, removed her handcuffs, and two of the guards flanked the table while the other went to stand by the door. The Chief Justice banged her gavel.

"The Trial of General Baron is now in session. General, please state your name for the record."

"Celestina Amista Barone."

"Good, now repeat after me. I Celestina Amista Barone…"

"I Celestina Amista Barone…"

"Promise to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth…"

"Promise to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth…"

"And I accept the punishment for being found lying to the court of law."

"And I accept the punishment for being found lying to the court of law."

Leia took the time she was saying the oath to study her. She was still wearing the clothes she had been found in, and her hair was still in the same braid although messier. She held her head high and spoke firmly and clearly. Celestina kept her face as neutral as a marble statue and made direct eye contact with her jury. As confident as she seemed, her eyes were tired, something Leia only could detect from their childhood together.

"Alright," the Justice said, "I will be asking the majority of the questions, but my fellow jury will jump in when they see fit. Once we have asked what we feel is a sufficient amount of question, we will make our decision. Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes, Chief Justice."

"Celestina Barone, you have been charged with murder, espionage, criminal activity under orders from the Empire. How do you plead?"

The entire courtroom fell silent. Leia's shoulders visibly tensed, and Carlist's hand tightened ever so slightly around his glass of water. Celestina's eyes flickered momentarily to the floor but then started the Chief Justice directly in the eye.

"Guilty, Your Honor."

Whispers flew around the courtroom. No Imperial Officer so far had admitted guilt. All of them had tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to plead innocent. The Judge pulled a paper out of a folder.

"Can you tell us about how you came to work for the Empire?"

"I don't know how much I can tell you. It was almost fifteen years ago."

"That's alright," Justice Lucasta said, her voice losing some of its hard edge. "Tell us what you can."

"The Royal Family of Alderann was making a trip to Coruscant," she began, twisting one of her rings around in a circle. "I don't remember why. My parents came back from a dinner one night, and something was off. They were whispering to each other. I had never seen them do that before."

Celestina closed her eyes and took a deep shuddering breath.

"The next day, my parents told me that I was going to go take some tests. My memory of the tests is fuzzy. All I remember is that there was this man in an Imperial uniform who was asking me questions, and he wouldn't let me take a break even though my head hurt."

Celestina took a sip of water and pushed some loose hair back from her face.

"Would you like a moment?" Carlist asked.

"No," she said, shaking her head almost violently. "I just haven't thought about this in a long time."

Celestina squared her shoulders and continued, still spinning her ring around her finger.

"After the test, another officer escorted me and my parents back to our room. I was given a few minutes to pack some things, and then he took me away. I remember my parents were crying, and I think I cried too."

"What happened after they took you away?" Senator Naberrie asked.

"I'm not sure. All I really remember is being upset because they were taking me away from my parents, and I didn't want to go. I think they gave me a shot to put me asleep because I remember waking in a room full of other kids."

"The story that your parents told was that you disappeared one day. Why wouldn't they tell the truth?" Leia asked.

"They… they knew that the Queen and Viceroy were working to overthrow the Emperor. I've always assumed that they didn't want to jeopardize that, and that they hoped that they could find me one day."

"From there you were taken to be trained, correct?" the Justice asked.

"Yes."

"Please describe that training for me."

"We were trained to be killers."

That comment elicited a gasp from the courtroom.

"Can you expand on that?" asked Carlist, his voice slightly shaky.

"Every child that was brought in by the Empire was taught high level math, science, and writing, trained in at least on kind of self-defense, and how to fly and repair ships. If you were singled out to become an assassin or bodyguard, you were taught up to five types of self-defense, with and without weapons, and you were taught how to use poisonous plants and how to lace food and drink with poison. If they thought you would become a good spy, you had special classes where you learned different languages, the history and customs of planets all over the galaxy, politics and diplomacy, and how to survive in harsh environments."

"What did you learn?" Senator Tomas asked.

"All of them. They trained around ten of us from every group they brought in to be an elite group. We worked directly under the Emperor when most of the others would work under Grand Moffs and other Generals."

"We have your files here," the Justice said. "One has been placed on the table in front of you. There are notes saying that you were punished- can you describe to us what kind of punishments you received?"

Celestina's composed face suddenly turned white.

"There were different types," she said, speaking slowly as if she was afraid she would start crying if she talked any faster.

"What were the most common?"

"Whipping was probably the most common. Have to watch the other kids being whipped was another. Sometimes they would make us fight the older kids until we passed out from exhaustion or from injuries. They wouldn't let us eat sometimes, or they would make us watch all the other kids when we couldn't. There were others. Is this enough?"

The entire courtroom was dead silent. Carlist looked like he might throw up, and the others on the jury didn't look much better. No one wanted to pity her, but they couldn't help but feel sick at the thought of a child going through this.

"No," the Chief Justice said after a moment. "I think that's enough." She cleared her throat. "Let's move on. When did you finish your training?"

"Fifteen. Everyone finished then."

"Okay, what happened once you were done?"

"We were given missions. Mine was to help identify all Senators that didn't support the Empire and mark them for execution."

"Why didn't you try to leave," Carlist asked.

Celestina rolled up her sleeve up to the crook of her elbow. There was a long gash that stretched from her sleeve to her wrist.

"The day we finished our training, we had a tracking device implanted in us. Whoever was supposed to be monitoring us could see our every step, shock us though the device if we weren't where we were supposed to be, and if we didn't listen, it would self-destruct and release a kind of poison into our bloodstream. I would have died within in moments if I had tried to leave."

"Couldn't you just take it out?" Leia asked.

"It had a sensor on it. If I even tried, it would immediately self-destruct."

"Is it still activated?" Senator Naberrie asked.

"No," Celestina said, shaking her head. "After the Emperor died, it deactivated."

"Can you tell us what kind of things you had to do for the Emperor?" the Chief Justice asked.

"Sometimes it was something as basic as being a pilot for the Grand Moffs or the Emperor. I infiltrated the Senate a few times and a few Royal Courts. I think I infiltrated a Rebellion Cell once or twice."

"And you killed people," Leia stated.

"Yes," Celestina said, unflinchingly making eye contact with Leia. "I did kill for him Senator Organa-Solo."

"How many people?" Senator Naberrie asked.

Celestina flicked her eyes up to the ceiling as she thought.

"I'm not sure," she said slowly. "If I had to guess it would be around two hundred or so."

Celestina looked vaguely horrified at the number, and judging by the loud murmurs coming from the rest of the room, the audience felt the same.

"What methods did you employ?" Leia asked.

"Poison mostly. I rarely used a gun or knife. The Emperor wanted the kills to be clean."

"Do you regret murdering those people?" Leia cut in before anyone could say anything else. Her voice had changed from a composed level tone, to a harsh accusing one.

"Most of them."

"You don't regret killing some of them?" the Chief Justice said before Leia had a chance to respond.

Celestina sighed and shook her head slightly.

"I regret killing the innocent people. The Rebellion fighters. I regret killing them. I don't regret killing the Imperial Generals that had fallen from the Emperor's favor. I don't regret killing a senator from Corellia who abused children or a senator from Naboo who was using tax money that was supposed to fund schools and refugee camps for his own expenses. I killed good people. I fully admit that, and I wish I hadn't. I also killed some really bad people, and I personally believe that I did the galaxy a favor by killing them."

The entire room sat there staring. The only sound was the clicking cam droids

"Well," the Chief Justice said, "I think we're almost done here. I have just a few more questions for you. We have some of the Emperor's private files, and there's something in there called 'loaning out.' What does that mean?"

Celestina grabbed her water before responding. Leia studied her closely. She didn't know much about the day to day operations of the Empire for females, but she had a guess about what it meant.

"Everyone the in the Emperor's elite group was female. It was an honor to be selected, but it also came with some unsavory parts. 'Loaning out' is the term the Emperor would use when he gifted one of us to someone for a night. If a particular General or Grand Moff pleased him, he would give us to them for a night."

"You were a sex slave," Carlist spat out.

"I guess you could call it that."

"How many times did this happen?" Senator Naberrie asked, a pitying look spreading across her face.

"I don't know. We got really good at blocking it out," Celestina said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Let's move on," the Judge said, sensing her discomfort. "Right after the destruction of Alderaan, there is mentions of you being punished. For a few weeks, it seems that you were given less important missions, but then you became the Emperor's right-hand woman for every important mission. Can you tell us why?"

"I was given orders to meet Grand Moff Tarkin on the Death Star where he would give me orders from the Emperor. When I got there, it was in position to destroy Alderaan. They wouldn't tell me why I was there, but they led me to one of the rooms that overlooked Alderaan. I watched them blow it up."

Gasps echoed around the courtroom so loudly that the Chief Justice had to hold up her hand to silence them.

"Continue, please."

"I knew there were prisoners aboard the Death Star. I had assumed from the beginning that I was brought there to dispose of one. I was right."

"But you didn't do it," Carlist confirmed.

"No."

"Who were you supposed to kill?" the Chief Justice asked.

"Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan."

The courtroom was silent for a moment before pandemonium broke out. Leia gripped Carlist's hand underneath the table, and she could almost feel Han and Luke tense up behind her. The Chief Justice had to bang on the table to settle everyone down.

"Silence! Let the girl speak."

"Thank you, Your Honor," she said looking right at Leia. "The Princess was not supposed to survive the Death Star. The injuries she had before I even got there should have killed her. They just wanted to make it more painful, and they wanted me to prove my loyalty."

"Then how did I survive," Leia said, her voice cracking so slightly that it was only noticeable to Han and Luke.

"I'm getting to that. The drugs you had already been injected with would have killed you, but it would have been fairly peaceful. I was to give you a dose of what we called the Screaming Death. It was made by one chemist who happened aboard the Death Star. Once it was injected, then were going to dump you somewhere where the Rebellion would find you, so they would have to watch you die."

"Why is it called the Screaming Death?" Senator Tomas asked.

"It makes you feel like your nerves are on fire. You run a fever that could potentially cause seizures, vomit blood, your throat slowly closes up. Every person who has been injected with it dies screaming. The only cure is an antidote made by the same chemist."

"What did you inject her with? It must have been some kind of medication," the Chief Justice asked.

"One of the chemists assistants owed me a favor. He made a concoction of drugs that would negate the ones she had already been given and left it on the counter. At the last second, I switched the two. They didn't find out until about an hour later when she didn't start screaming. They sent someone else to do the job, but she was already gone."

"Then you were punished," Carlist said.

"Twenty rounds of force lightning over the course of four days. Vader and the Emperor took turns. I wasn't allowed to eat, drink, or sleep for those four days either. After that, they gave me basic assignments until I proved that I was trustworthy again."

"No one has ever survived that much force lightning before," Carlist exclaimed.

"I think that they held back a bit. They wanted me to be in pain, but they didn't want to kill me."

"Why didn't they just kill you?" Senator Naberrie asked.

"I was too valuable. I had also rebelled before but never to this extent. The Emperor knew that I didn't want to serve him, so he decided to punish me by keeping me alive."

"How did you regain his favor?" the Chief Justice asked.

"I did whatever he asked."

"How could you do that?" Leia spat out. "He just destroyed your family. Your home planet."

"That's exactly why," Celestina said, a sad smile crossing her face. "Alderaan was my last hope. I always knew that my parents would be able to forgive me for whatever I did, and suddenly, they were gone. I had nothing left. No one else is going to forgive an Imperial Officer, so I gave up. I stopped fighting. I did whatever was asked of me without question. I accept my fate."

Celestina looked around the room.

"Are we done?"

"I'm going to open up questions to the rest of jury, but after that, yes," the Chief Justice said.

"Where were you for the past two years?" Carlist asked.

"I stocked my ship with supplies and flew around the Alderaanian Graveyard. I wanted to properly mourn my parents before turning myself in."

"Do you think you could assimilate into New Republic society?" Senator Naberrie asked.

"I don't think that's possible, Senator."

"Would you be willing testify against other Imperials?" asked Senator Tomas.

"Yes."

"If you could, would you have not killed those people?" Leia asked.

Celestina leveled her with a stare.

"I thought we went over this already Senator."

"I just want to make sure."

"If I could, I wouldn't have killed the innocents."

Leia opened her mouth to respond, but the Chief Justice cut her off.

"That's enough Senator Organa-Solo. General Barone, do you have anything to say in your defense before we make our decision?"

"I'm assuming you're deciding between life in prison and death. I would like to request that you just kill me. I've made peace with my past. I don't need to spend the rest of my life contemplating it."

"We will take that into consideration," she said. "The Court is adjourned."

…

Celestina was led back into the courtroom over two hours later. The entire room was silent as she took her place behind the table. Once she was there, the Chief Justice rose.

"General Celestina Amista Barone, you have been charged with espionage, murder, and criminal activity under order from the Empire, and at the beginning of our session, you pled guilty. After reviewing the evidence we have been given and your testimony, we have come to a conclusion. A three to two vote has decided that you will be able to walk free from this courtroom."

The Justice paused so she could be heard over the sounds from the audience.

"However, you will be monitored closely, you cannot leave the planet for one year, and you must testify against any Imperial that we bring in. Are these terms agreeable to you?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Very well then. This session is now closed."

The Chief Justice got up and exited the room, followed closely by the rest of the jury. Celestina sank down in her chair and sat there dumbfounded as a guard unlocked her handcuffs. She covered her face with her hands and stared at the floor. A gentle hand being placed on her back made her look up. She looked up to see Carlist Rieekan standing next to her.

"General Rieekan," she said standing up.

"Hello Celestina."

They stood there looking at each other for what felt like years.

"You're all grown up," he said sadly.

"I wish I wasn't."

"I know," he said kissing her forehead.

Celestina stiffened at the contact but ultimately relaxed into the familiar embrace.

"I missed you," she said softly.

"I missed you too kiddo."

 **AN: Hi all! I'm very sorry for the long wait- school has been monopolizing my time lately, and when I do have free time, all I want to do is sleep! FormerAnnie betaread this chapter for me- you guys should all go check out her story "Road to Redemption." It's amazing!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **WARNING: This chapter mentions suicidal thoughts/ depression. If this topic could potentially be triggering for you- STOP HERE! As much as I would love for you to read my story, I don't want you to sacrifice your mental health in doing so. If this could potentially trigger you, but you still want to read this story- PM me, and we can work something out.**

Little hints of sun filtered in Celestina's bedroom through the gap between the thick curtains covering her windows. When the light hit her face, disturbing the darkness, she groaned and sat up slowly. It was early, too early, but she had given up on sleep hours ago. The morning light was a welcome reprieve from the heavy darkness.

Her comm went off for the sixth time that hour, and she fumbled for it, switching it off as soon as she saw the name. She hit a button on a panel next to her bed, turning on the lights, and stumbled to the fresher.

The apartment was provided to her by the New Republic. They claimed it was for her safety, but, Celestina guessed, it was probably because they didn't trust her not to run. That being said, it was a nice apartment. Small, not that she expected anything huge. It had a bedroom with a comfortable mattress and blankets- probably Carlist's doing- a small kitchen, a fresher, and an eating/living area. It smelled like disinfectant, despite her living there for a week already, but it was much more homey than the barracks she had grown accustomed to living in.

She dressed quickly in black pants and a loose shirt and twisted her hair in a long braid down her back. She paused for a moment to look in the mirror. The dark circles under her eyes were more like pools now, her freckles were beginning to fade, and her cheekbones were becoming more and more prominent, likely due to her living off of ration bars for the past year and a half.

Celestina grabbed her comm link, tugged on her shoes, grabbed a piece of fruit from her kitchen, and headed out.

…

Han Solo walked into the New Republic Military Shooting Range just as the sun fully came up over the horizon. He had come here often during the early days after the war, finding comfort in the rhythmic sound of the blasters, but since time had gone on; Han had come less and less. He punched in his code, and the protective doors slid open. Instead of the silence he was expecting, the sound of rapid-fire shots greeted his ears.

Han walked down the range to the farthest target to find Celestina firing. He waited until the barrage of shots stopped.

"You're here early, General Barone."

She spun around so fast he barely saw it, immediately training the blaster she was holding on him.

"A DL-44," Han said unfazed, nodding towards the blaster she was holding with a death grip, "Nice choice. It's one of my favorites."

"What the hell? Didn't anyone tell you not to sneak up on someone with a blaster?" she snapped, once she got her bearings.

"Didn't anyone tell you not to point a blaster at someone?" he shot back, a cocky grin on his face. "Han Solo, nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet an Imperial assassin?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Shake my hand Barone."

Celestina grasped his hand and shook it. She reloaded the blaster and turned back to the target, fully expecting him to walk away. She fired the blaster at the target, hitting the center each time until it began to splinter.

"You're good," Han spoke from beside her. "I wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of your blaster."

"They don't call me Angel of Death for nothing," she mumbled, putting the blaster up on a rack. "Is there a reason you're talking to me?"

"What a guy can't just be friendly?"

"Not to a girl the entire New Republic hates."

"I think that's a bit of an exaggeration," he said, shoving his hands in his pocket and leaning up against the railing separating them from the target.

"Have you watched the news lately," she quipped, crossing her arms.

"You still getting death threats?" he asked, the teasing look fading.

Celestina turned away, sweeping the empty boxes of ammunition in the trash.

"Yes," she said curtly. "But I don't see how that's any of your business."

"You saved Leia's life. I feel like I owe you. The least I can do is help keep you safe."

"I can take care of myself."

"I don't doubt that you can. Look, Leia seems to have made up her mind about you. Carlist thinks that you're redeemable. And after talking to you for less than five minutes, Luke seems to think you're okay. The Kid tends to be a bit optimistic, but his Force thing makes him a pretty good judge of people. My wife is the most stubborn person I've ever met, but I know her. She'll come around eventually. I'd like you to still be here when she does."

Celestina just looked at him. Han pulled out a piece of flimsi and scribbled something on it.

"This is my comm code. Let me know if you change your mind."

… **If you've ignored the trigger warning- now's your last chance…**

Celestina rapped sharply on Carlist Rieekan's office door.

"Come in."

She stepped in the room, keeping her hand on the door behind her.

"You asked to see me General."

"Shut the door and have a seat," he said, setting a data pad aside. Celestina shut the door and sat on the edge of a chair, hands clasped in her lap. "I didn't ask you to come here to punish you."

"Then why do I feel like I'm walking to my execution?"

Carlist gave her a withering look, similar to ones he used to give her when he caught her and Leia misbehaving as children.

"You've gotten quite a mouth over the years."

"Self-deprecating humor and sarcasm are the only way to survive the Empire. Look, can you just tell me why I'm here?"

"I'm worried about you," Carlist said, resting his hands on his desk.

"It's not your job to worry about me anymore. I'm not the little kid that you have to hunt down because I ran from my nanny anymore. I can take care of myself."

"You shouldn't have to," he said, the remnants of the scolding look morphing into one of concern. "You've gone through a lot. Let me help you. Your parents would have…"

"My parents are dead," Celestina practically growled. "What they would or wouldn't have wanted no longer has any bearing on my decisions or actions."

"You don't mean that."

"The last time I saw my parents, I was ten. I barely remember them, so I don't really think about whether or not I'm doing what they would have wanted me to do."

"Celestina…"

"I appreciate the concern, but I really don't need help," Celestina snapped. Her muscles were becoming visibly tense, as if she was preparing for a fight. She started to turn towards the door but stopped when Carlist spoke.

"You spend the entire day in your apartment or training, only emerging to meet with the jury about trials that you're testifying for."

"Well I can't really go anywhere because this entire city wants me to die."

"We gave you a second chance," Carlist snapped. "The least you can do is _try_. That's all we're asking you to do."

"I didn't want it!" Celestina said, her voice rising. "I didn't want your pity. I didn't want a second chance."

"So you just wanted us to let you rot in jail for the rest of your life?"

"I wanted to die!" she shrieked, standing up.

Carlist stared at her, his mouth slightly open. Celestina closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I'm miserable Carlist," she continued. "I have been for years, and I'm just so tired of fighting it. I asked for the death sentence because… because I'm too damn scared to pull the trigger myself. But, for whatever reason, you thought that I should be able to walk free."

Carlist got up from behind his desk and walked over to her.

"I can barely get out of bed most mornings," she whispered, her voice cracking. "It feels like there's this giant weight that's pinning me down, and no matter what I do, I can't get it to move."

He enveloped her into a big bear hug. She stood there stiffly for a while before wrapping her arms around him just as tightly.

"I'm so tired," she sighed into his shoulder.

"I know, Celestina. I know."

She pulled back after a beat.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," she said, wiping at the corners of her eyes. "I'll see you at the trial tomorrow."

She spun around and headed out the door.

"Celestina," Carlist called after her.

The door clicked shut behind her.

…

"Look Leia, 'm just saying that you should try talking to her."

"You don't know her Han."

"You don't either."

Leia paused in the middle of cutting vegetables for dinner to stare at her husband.

"Han, stop. I'm barraged all day with questions about her. I came home hoping to have a nice meal with my husband. Kriff, I even decided to try to cook for once!"

"You don't, Leia," he said, stepping away from the stove, completely ignoring what she said. "You haven't talked to her in a decade. The two of you are completely different people than you were back then."

"She's an Imperial assassin. I know enough."

"She saved your life!"

"She also killed more people than I can name."

"Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you didn't feel just a little bit of empathy for her when she talked about how she was treated?"

Leia went back to methodically chopping.

"Why the sudden interest in my relationship with her?"

"You're evading the question."

"And you're evading mine."

"I ran into her at the shooting range this morning. I talked to her for like five minutes before she left."

"And?"

"The two of you are a lot alike. You both get really sarcastic when you feel cornered or threatened."

"Very funny. I don't trust her Han."

"'m not saying that you have to!"

Leia scoffed.

"The kid liked her," Han said.

"Luke likes everybody."

"You know that's not true."

"Han…"

"You need someone in your life who can completely relate to what you went though. Luke and I can relate somewhat but not completely."

"I don't think I'm ready to even have a conversation with her."

"It doesn't have to be now. I just want you to keep an open mind."

Leia studied her husband's face. His face was completely neutral, an expression he often adopted when arguing with her, but his eyes were pleading.

"You're not going to leave me alone until I agree."

"Nope."

"Fine," she said, raising her hands in surrender. "But I'm not promising anything."

…

Celestina started coughing as she stepped into the smoky bar on the seedier side of Hanna City. She carefully maneuvered herself through the crowd of people to an empty seat on the far side of the bar. Celestina absentmindedly picked up a menu and flicked through it.

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked, coming to stand in front of her.

Before she could answer, another voice cut in from the seat to her left.

"Get her a Corellian whiskey and another one for me."

She stared straight ahead at the racks of alcohol until the bartender brought their drinks over. Celestina curled her hand around the glass and took a sip of the amber liquid.

"Celestina Barone as I live and breathe. It's been, what, two years?"

"Not long enough," she said, setting her drink down and turning to the man next to her.

"Careful, you'll hurt my feelings," he teased.

"Funny, I didn't think you had any of those."

In the seat next to her was Elton Lopez. He was dressed simply in black pants and a shirt, and his blonde hair looked like it was soaked in product. The oily look he was giving her made her feel like prey.

"I see you still have that same fiery streak, Celestina."

"And you still have the same arrogance, Elton."

"If I knew any better, I'd think you weren't happy to see me."

"I'm not happy to see you," Celestina said, taking another swig from her glass. "You were the one who wouldn't stop comming me, asking me to meet you. Speaking of which, can we just cut to the chase? I want to go back to my apartment."

"I watched your trial. You put on quite a show."

"It didn't top the one that you put on to convince the Rebellion that you were a true Imperial defector."

"You're a bitch."

"You're a coward. At least I was man enough to accept the punishment for what I did."

"Well, it wasn't much of a punishment, was it."

Celestina glared at him.

"What the hell do you want from me, Lopez? Can't I just go? I'm sure you can find someone else to help with whatever you're planning."

"You see, Tina, I can't"

Celestina flinched at the nickname.

"I need your help, because you're the only Imperial General who has managed to walk free."

"I don't see how I can help you. They let me walk free, but the New Republic still wants me in jail or, preferably, dead."

"You're testifying at trials, right?"

"Yes."

"I need you to help me free a few buddies of mine. All you have to do is tell the jury that they deserve to walk free. I don't care what you tell them, as long as they get released."

"You want me to lie?"

"Well, you seemed to have no problem with it during your trial."

"I never lied during the trial."

"But you omitted the truth."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she said, tucking a loose piece of hair back into her braid.

"You didn't tell them about the Rebellion members you tortured."

"What the hell are you talking about? I never did anything like that."

"But they don't know that," Elton said, taking a sip from his glass.

"You're crazy. I'm leaving."

"You said it yourself," he said, grabbing her arm. "They barely trust you, and most of them want you dead. All it will take is just one little rumor to put you behind bars."

"Nobody will believe you."

"And they'll believe you?" he asked incredulously. "You have a week to make your decision. For your sake, I hope you make the right one."

He threw a couple credits on the bar and walked away. Celestina sank back down in her chair and downed the rest of her drink in one swig, wincing from the burning sensation. She slammed her glass down and signaled to the bartender.

"Another one."

 **AN: Again, sorry for the long wait! Please leave a review- they make my day! Thank you to fomerAnnie for** **betaing this chapter for me- go check out her work!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **WARNING: This chapter mentions anxiety/ has two descriptions of panic attacks (one is more descriptive). If this topic could potentially be triggering for you- STOP HERE! As much as I would love for you to read my story, I don't want you to sacrifice your mental health in doing so. If this could potentially trigger you, but you still want to read this story- PM me, and we can work something out.**

The sun was just beginning to slink up from behind the horizon when Celestina stumbled into her apartment. Her conversation with Elton Lopez just mere hours before had left her shaken. Just thinking about it made her legs feel weak. Though, to be honest, the jelly-like legs could be from the Corellian whiskeys she had attempted to drown herself in. She wasn't drunk exactly. Maybe a little tipsy, but the bartender had been astute enough to cut her off when her speech started slurring. He had switched her to water and gotten one of his assistants to fly her back to her apartment. Her heart ached at the simple kindness she had been shown.

Celestina started walking to her bedroom in hopes of getting a few hours of sleep when she was hit with a wave of nausea. She had just enough time to kneel in front of the toilet on the cool floor of the fresher before she vomited the last few hours of whiskey and the ration bar she had downed as a replacement for dinner. Once her stomach had been completely emptied, the maybe more than a little tipsy woman leaned against the cabinets below the sink.

Celestina's hands began to shake as a wave of panic began to pull her under. How was she supposed to do this? What the Force was she going to do? All of a sudden, the artificial light of the fresher was too bright, and the sound of water traveling through the pipes reverberated loudly throughout her skull. She pulled her knees up to her chest, squeezed her eyes shut, and clamped her hands down over her ears. Her throat was tight, too tight. Celestina rocked back and forth until she was able to fill her lungs with air again.

The formal general reached behind her for the edge of the counter and pulled herself up, her legs almost giving out. Celestina reached for a washcloth and struggled to turn on the water with her shaking hands. She barely opened her eyes as she wiped her face down with warm water in hopes that it would calm her racing heart. When she finished, she raised her eyes so she could look at herself in the mirror. And then, without warning, a wave of emotions crashed over her, and she burst into tears.

Huge gasping sobs made her shoulders shake and her eyes burn. Her iron grip on the countertop was the only thing keeping her upright. She cried for her parents and the people that had died at her hands. She cried in despair for the cruelty of life and the choices that she was supposed to make. Most of all, Celestina cried for the little girl that she used to be that she hadn't seen in over a decade.

Eventually, her body ran out of tears to cry. When the tears stopped, it was like all the strength left her body. Her legs buckled, and she crumpled back down to the bathroom floor. Celestina all but crawled out of the bathroom to the foot of her bed. It took every ounce of strength she had in her body to pull herself up onto the mattress. She fell asleep as soon as her head touched the mattress, not even trying to curl up under the covers.

As the rest of the city woke, the broken woman fell into a dreamless sleep.

…

"They spoil you." Leia turned around from her seat on the balcony just outside her office to find Carlist standing there. "I mean they certainly don't bring me breakfast."

Leia laughed softly and motioned for him to sit across from her. She'd been there since the sun rose, combing over notes for upcoming trials and pieces of legislation that were being pushed. A few minutes ago, her assistant had come in with a tray of food and pushed her out onto the balcony for a change of scenery.

"I'm assuming this is Han's doing," she said wryly. "My assistant doesn't like me this much."

"I'll say," Carlist said, taking in the expanse of food, helping himself to a pastry. "You don't have to come into work this early, you know. You'll run yourself ragged."

"They captured a new Imperial today," she said, avoided his question.

"Who?"

"Grand Moff Leonardo Fitzpatrick."

"You're kidding?"

"Dead serious," Leia said, smiling at him. "The last of the Grand Moffs is in our hands."

"I've only heard his name mentioned. What do we know about him?"

"We got some intel about him but not much. He was involved in more behind the scenes dealings. It's been confirmed that he was in charge of the training they gave the kids they captured, but the information we got makes it look like he was just a figurehead."  
"So as of right now, his only real crime is being a member of the Empire."

"So far. This trial is going to rest on Celestina's testimony."  
"How so?"

"It was rumored that they were very close, possible even a couple."

"He's old enough to be her father!"

"Nothing has been confirmed yet, Carlist. Besides," Leia said, turning back to the datapad in her lap, "she is a fully grown adult and has been for years. That's not a reason to lock him in jail."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Carlist used the quiet to look out over the balcony at the crystal-blue ocean, tinted slightly red from the barely risen sun in an attempt to calm the hurricane of thoughts whipping through his head.

"Are you okay Leia," he asked, turning back to her.

"Fine," she said, barely glancing up at him. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been working nonstop lately. I've talked to Han, and…"

That made Leia look up.

"You've be talking to my husband about me behind my back?" she asked in a tone that she normally reserved for incompetent assistants.

"We're worried about you! Last year…"

"Was last year. I'm _fine._ I appreciate the concern, but you're not my father."

Carlist reeled back as if he had been slapped. Leia realized what she had said immediately.

"Carlist," she breathed. "I shouldn't have said that. You've been a father to me since I was a child. I didn't mean…"

"Leia," he said softly, reaching across the table to grasp her hand. "I'm not offended. I just… I had a similar conversation with Celestina yesterday, and she reacted almost the exact same way."

"Han said something along those lines last night."

"Have you talked to her, Leia?"

"No."

"Leia," he said, exasperatedly.

"Carlist," she snapped, "with all due respect, please shut up. Everyone in my family keeps telling me that I need to get to know her better. I don't need it from you too."

Carlist held his hands up in surrender, and stood up to leave. When he reached the doorway, he turned back around.

"Are you going to invite her to the Alderaan Memorial Ball?"

"Carlist!"

"Are you?"

"I don't… I don't know. She's a survivor, but she also was part of the regime that destroyed it in the first place."

"Will you think about it?"

"Fine," she said, exasperated.

"Good. I'll see you at the trial later, Princess."

…

Han Solo and Chewbacca stood on landing platform 96 as a grey ship that looked brand new landed in front of them. The ramp lowered with a hiss, and from the darkness from within, Lando Calrissian stepped out, his purple cape billowing out behind him.

"Han," he exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Lando," Han said pulling back, "I see you got a new ship."

"Well, you stole my old one, so I didn't have much of a choice. Hey Chewie."

Chewbacca pulled him into a big hug, lifting him off the ground.

"Where's your girl, Han?" Lando asked, wincing slightly as Chewbacca released him.

"Off rebuilding the galaxy."

"How's she doing with this General Barone in town?"

"You know Leia. Everything's okay until it's not."

"Well I've heard quite a few stories about this girl."

"Anything I need to report the government?"

"Nah." Lando paused. "Well… no. Just things that make me think this girl and I would be great friends."

"Now I'm not sure I want to hear them," Han said dryly, watching as droids unloaded crate after crate off Lando's ship. "You planning on staying here permanently?"

"What?" Lando followed Han's gaze to the crates pilling up. "Oh no. I wanted to bring my own supplies. I have a new short-term business venture."

"Do I want to know what it is?"

"Maybe," Lando said, swinging an arm over Han's shoulder, leading them off the landing pad. "I know you've gone legit and all that…"

…

One by one, the same jury that had sentenced Celestina, Chief Justice Lucasta, and Celestina herself filed out of the courtroom to a small meeting room.

"Thank you for your help today everyone. Another Imperial is behind bars," the Chief Justice said as everyone gathered up their things. "And thank you for your testimony, Celestina."

Celestina tilted her water bottle in her direction as recognition.

"When's the next trial?" Senator Naberrie asked.

"We have one in two days. The last of the Grand Moffs was captured late last night. They've advised us to move fast."

Celestina's water bottle clattered to a table, making everyone look at her.

"I'm sorry," she said, quickly picking it up, "but you mean Leonardo Fitzpatrick, correct?"

When she had gone to pick up her bottle, Leia saw a slight tremor in her hands. It was so slight, she thought she was imagining things. Her voice had lost the normally confidant edge, reminding Carlist of how she spoke when scolded as a little girl.

"Yes," the Chief Justice said, a hint of tenderness in her voice. "Will you be able to testify?"

Celestina visibly swallowed and opened and closed her mouth multiple times before words came out.

"Yes. Yes, of course."

"Good. We're really going to depend on your testimony for this trial. There is very little evidence against him…"

"Excuse me," Celestina interrupted, her voice suddenly thick with emotion, "but I need to go."

Without waiting for a response, she fled from the room, nearly taking down a vase of flowers in her hurry. Carlist and the Chief Justice exchanged a look, and Carlist took off after her without a word.

He found her sitting on a bench in a private courtyard off one of the meeting rooms. Her belongings were strewn carelessly to the side. Celestina was hunched over, her elbows on her knees, and the palms of her hands pressed against her eyes. Her fingers forcefully rubbed hairline. The sight made his heart jump in his throat. He had served in the military. He knew what a panic attack looked like. Carlist walked slowly over to her, loud enough so she would hear him coming, but not so loud that it would send her further into panic. He knelt on the pavement in front of her and took one of her hands in his.

"You're having a panic attack. I know you feel like you're spinning out of control right now, but I've got you. I want you to squeeze my hand as hard as you need to in order to bring yourself back."

Celestina didn't say anything but crushed his hand in hers, making Carlist wince slightly, but he didn't pull away.

"Now, try to slow your breathing. It doesn't matter how you do it."

They sat there for what felt like an eternity to Carlist, but it was closer to five minutes. When his knees began to scream at him for staying in a crouched position for so long, Celestina's shoulders visibly lowered and the death grip on his hand loosened. Carlist stood up and took a seat on the bench next to her as she slowly rolled herself back up, one vertebra at a time.

"You need to see a professional."

Celestina took a long sip from her bottle of water. "No, I don't."

"Celestina."

"Carlist."

"Yesterday, you admitted to me that you were suicidal, and today you had a panic attack when we mentioned the name of a Grand Moff. You went through the unfathomable, Celestina! It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help!"

"It's not that I don't want to!"  
"Then what is it?"

"No one will treat me! I'm a former Imperial, and in the eyes of most of the galaxy, I'm Sith spawn. People won't even look at me let alone try to help me!"

Carlist looked at her silently. "I've done fine on my own," Celestina continued. "The last thing I need is to pour my soul out to someone I don't trust and who doesn't trust me. "She stood up silently and gathered her strewn stuff.

"Thank you for helping me."

Carlist grabbed her arm. "Will you comm me? If it's really bad, will you comm me?"

Celestina smiled tightly. "If I say no, will you push it?"

"Probably."

"Then fine."

 **AN: Hi all! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I'm hoping to get one more chapter in before the holidays, but we'll see. Please leave a review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **WARNING: This chapter mentions sexual assault (non-graphic) and anxiety. If this topic could potentially be triggering for you- STOP HERE! As much as I would love for you to read my story, I don't want you to sacrifice your mental health in doing so. If this could potentially trigger you, but you still want to read this story- PM me, and we can work something out.**

Luke pulled out his lightsaber when the practice droid beeped to life. The training gym, reserved for active members of the New Republic Military and those given special permission, was crowded with trainees and veteran soldiers alike. Most had been lifting weights when he had walked in, but the few that were sparring quickly vacated the large mat in the center of the room to make space for the Jedi Master.

The training droid was a relic of the Old Republic, something members of the new government had procured for him as a thank you. Unlike the training orb Obi-Wan had taught him on, this droid was built to train the user for battle and therefore was much more challenging. An hour and three rounds later, Luke was dripping with sweat. He moved to reset the droid again when the entire gym froze.

Celestina Barone walked in, head held high, careful not to make eye contact with anyone in the room. The veterans slid their hand to cover where their blasters should have been, but the trainees turned to Luke, who simply stood and watched. They watched in a tension-filled silence as she dropped her bag on the floor with a loud thud and began to stretch.

The Jedi Master sensed apprehension and fear rolling off of her rather than the malice and anger others in the room would have expected. Luke longed to reach out and calm her through the Force like he would have done for Leia but stopped himself, realizing that any sort of help may not be well received. The former Imperial pulled on a pair of boxing gloves and centered herself in front of a large punching bag. Upon hearing the first thwack, Luke reset the droid and went back to his workout. The others in the room, seeing the Jedi showing no concern towards the assassin, turned back to whatever they were doing.

Half an hour later, there was a loud ripping sound that made the entire room turn towards Celestina. The punching bag had split down the middle, sand spilling on the floor. The gym was suddenly ablaze with whispers. Celestina ducked her head, and Luke could see her biting her bottom lip, so gently it was almost unnoticeable. Without saying anything, Luke gently used the Force to lower the bag to the floor and put the sand back inside. He nodded at Celestina and watched as she sat down on a bench and took a sip of water. Against his better judgement, he wandered over to her.

"What'd the punching bag ever do to you?"

"It's been a long day," she remarked, a poor excuse for an explanation.

"It's eight in the morning."

"It's been a long day," she repeated, in a tone that Luke couldn't place but was certainly hostile. Her voice softened. "Thank you for lowering it for me."

"No problem." Luke hesitated. "Sparring with someone usually helps me if I'm having a bad day."

"I thought Jedi Masters weren't supposed to get angry," she quipped.

"I'm serious."

"So am I," the teasing look that she wore when they first met flashing across her face. "Besides, there's not exactly a line of people wanting to train with an ex- Imperial."

"Well, I don't exactly have anything to do at the moment."

Celestina just stared at him. "Are you serious right now?"

"I wouldn't offer if I wasn't."

"Han was right," she said, standing up.

"About what?" Luke asked, furrowing his brow.

"You're an idealist." She began walking towards the mat and stopped when she reached the edge. "Well, are we doing this or what?"

The entire gym watched them out of the corner of its eye as they took their places opposite each other. They each faked a few moves in an attempt to psych the other out but neither fell for it. Eventually, Luke stuck out a foot and pulled her dominant leg out from under her. Celestina began to fall but managed to grab ahold of his wrist. She pulled herself up, wrapped her left leg around his upper thigh, unhooked her right leg from his foot, and used it to pull both of his legs out from under him. Luke toppled to the floor with Celestina still wrapped around his legs. The Jedi Master attempted a few maneuvers but eventually conceded defeat by tapping his fingers against her hand still wrapped tightly around his wrist.

Celestina quickly unraveled her legs from under his and rolled off him to sit next to his prone body on the mat.

"I did tell you that I was having a bad day," she remarked, rolling her neck.

"No kidding. Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"I did learn a few useful things from the Empire."

"The New Republic could use a good fighter like you."

Celestina snorted. "Yeah, that's not gonna happen." She glanced at the chrono on the wall.

"Another round?"

"Kriff," she said, jumping up. "I'm going to be late."

Luke pulled himself up off the mat as she grabbed her boxing gloves and bag.

"It was nice sparring with you," he said, sticking a hand out for her to shake.

Celestina gave him a tight smile. "I'll see you around, Skywalker." She didn't take his hand.

Luke watched her walk out the door and past the wall of glass that looked out into the hallway. When he could no longer see her, the Jedi turned back to the gym. The entire room was staring at him.

"What?"

…

Carlist Rieekan was the last one to enter the Jury's Chamber.

"What the Force is going on out there? I had to push my way through hundreds of protestors just to get in here."

"Celestina Barone," Senator Pooja Naberrie said offhandedly, not looking up from her data pad.

"They're still mad we let her go free," Leia continued when his face only showed confusion. "And her testifying at her rumored lover's trial was the final straw. Some reporter convinced them that she's going to lie under oath so he can walk free."

"That's ridiculous," Carlist exclaimed.

"Tell that to them," the Chief Justice said, nodding her head towards the doors.

"How is she going to get here safely?"

"I sent a guard. Don't worry, Carlist."

The entire room was silent, most of the jury members choosing to review the case file one last time. Suddenly, the volume of the crowd outside increased. Moments later, the door was thrown open and Celestina walked in.

"Are you injured?" Carlist asked.

"I'm fine," Celestina said, walking to the floor length mirror on one wall. She shrugged off her jacket in order to re-tuck her shirt and swiped at the corner of her mouth where her lipstick was smudged. "They just roughed me up a little."

"Well, if you're okay, we need to get started," Justice Lucasta said. "I apologize for scheduling this trial only two days after capturing him. I know that it isn't enough time to come up with questions on top of your regular duties, but we wanted him sentenced before anyone could attempt to free him."

The Justice went on, but Leia didn't hear her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from Celestina's hair. She had become used to seeing her with a conventional braid… but this one. It was traditionally worn by female warriors and generals during battle. Leia's own mother had worn it, although privately, when the Empire began to take over. Even more striking was Celestina's own history with the braid. Her mother, the personal bodyguard to the Queen, had worn this braid on a daily basis. Celestina had remarked when they were children, that anytime she needed courage, she asked her mother to braid her hair that way.

"…Celestina, you'll wait in here until we need your testimony. Everyone else, let's get going."

The jury panel filed out of the room into a long corridor that lead to the courtroom with Leia at the back of the line. She turned back to look at Celestina one last time. The Senator watched silently as the Chief Justice placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I always am," Celestina said dryly. "Go, I'll see you in there."

… **The trigger warning goes into effect here…**

Hours later, Celestina paced up and down, her eyes permanently fixed on the holovision that was broadcasting the trial. She twisted her rings around with a desperation she had never felt before. The former General's stomach was in knots and her legs felt like they were going to give out from under her. However, despite how she was feeling, her face gave no indication that anything was wrong.

A knock at the door made her jump.

"They're ready for you," a guard said.

Celestina wordlessly followed him down the hallway. He stopped in front of the door, checked him commlink, and pushed the door open, ushering her inside. She allowed herself to be guided over to the witness stand, perpendicular to the accused and the jury. The guard took his post at her side.

In the seconds before she was sworn in, Celestina surveyed the crowd. Luke and Han were sitting directly behind Leia again, this time with a Wookie and a dark-skinned man that looked vaguely familiar. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Elton Lopez staring at her. He winked at her, causing a shiver to go down her spine. Celestina took her oath, sat down, and turned to look at the Grand Moff for the first time.

Leonardo Fitzpatrick had been a handsome man in his prime, but age had not been kind to him. What was left of his brown hair was white and thin. He had gained weight since she had last seen him, and his skin was sagging and covered in wrinkles. No one would have guessed that the man sitting before them was only fifty.

The two of them made eye contact, and Celestina froze.

"Hello Celestina," he said, smirking. "How long has it been?"

Celestina glanced at the Chief Justice for permission who nodded.

"Years."

"Too long," he said, giving her a predatory look that caused waves of panic to crash over her. Ones that she fought to keep at bay.

"Enough with the pleasantries," Justice Lucasta said, standing up. "Let's get started. General Barone, do I need to review the trial proceedings?"

"No ma'am," she said, desperate for the distraction.

"Good. Please begin by tell us when you first met Grand Moff Fitzpatrick."

"He was there to welcome myself and the other children that were taken to be trained. Grand Moff Fitzpatrick was in charge of our training and education."

"Did he oversee the day to day operations?"

"No, lower-ranking Imperials were in charge of that. After that first day, we only saw him once a month or so. My understanding is that he traveled to other locations where other children and teenagers were located."

"So you never had any interaction with him?" Senator Naberrie asked.

"That's not what I said, Senator."

"Can you describe what happened when the Grand Moff came to visit?" Carlist asked.

"He would stay for about a week. The Grand Moff would meet with our teacher and us individually in order to assess what specialized training we would receive and what our eventual role in the Empire would be. He often observed our classes and would dole out punishments."

"Was Grand Moff Fitzpatrick someone that you and the other children feared, were indifferent to, or saw as a good person?" Leia asked.

"Feared."

"I was a man in a position of power who decided their futures," the Grand Moff cut in. "Of course they feared me!"

"Grand Moff Fitzpatrick, you were told the rules," the Chief Justice barked. "No speaking while the witness is testifying. Senator Organa-Solo, I believe you had another question."

"Why?"

"He had a… reputation amongst the girls."

"Elaborate on that please," Justice Lucasta said, leaning forward.

Celestina glanced at him before squaring her shoulders.

"I was warned to avoid being alone with him because he had… he had assaulted young girls before."

"Did you personally find any truth to those rumors?"

"Yes."

The reaction was immediate. The onlookers gasped and talked among themselves. Fitzpatrick turned red and attempted to jump out of his seat but was quickly restrained. Carlist looked vaguely murderous, and Leia and the other jury members looked slightly sick. Chief Justice Lucasta simply stared straight ahead.

"Can you elaborate on that please?"

"On his first visit when I was there, he…"

Celestina trailed off, looking at the judge.

"I know this is difficult, but I need you to say the words please."

Celestina turned her head to face the Grand Moff, staring him straight in the eyes.

"Grand Moff Leonardo Fitzpatrick raped me when I was ten."

"Did it ever happen again?"

"Every time he visited until I graduated from the program when I was fifteen."

"Was this ever reported?"

"The first time. I wasn't allowed to eat dinner because my teachers thought I was trying to get a superior in trouble. I was, however, sent to the hospital wing. The med-droid treated me then and every time after."

"Celestina," the Justice said, her voice unusually soft and gentle. "I know this is bringing up so many bad memories, and we're almost done. I just have one more question. Did this happen to any other girls?"

"As far as I know, it happened to every girl that passed through the program at least once."

The Grand Moff exploded.

"She's lying. The bitch just wants me to go to jail! I never laid a hand on her! You can't possibly believe her!"

"I do," Justice Lucasta said evenly. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please turn to page five on your data pad. There you will find Celestina Barone's medical records from when she was ten to fifteen, detailing treatment she received along with treatment other girls received. After that, you will find the DNA results from cross matching a sample found on their clothing and the Grand Moff's DNA. As you can see, it's a perfect match."

The Grand Moff began to stammer and strained against the restraints that held him to the chair.

"General Barone, thank you for your testimony. You are now dismissed."

Celestina rose, nodded towards the jury, and followed the guard out the door.

…

Celestina Barone leaned up against the wall, facing the door to the chambers. She had been sent out here after her testimony, so the jury could make their ruling. The former General could hear the throngs of people exiting the courtroom from one end of the hall way and the chattering of reporters, hoping to get a statement from the jury, at the other end. Celestina closed her eyes and massaged her temples that ached from the strain of her long hair pulled and secured tightly.

"We meet again."

Celestina jerked her head to the left, her hand automatically going to where her holster should have been, to find Han, Luke, and the dark-skinned man walking her way.

"Waiting for Leia?" she asked, covering up her current anxiety by placing a hand on her hip

"Well, we're certainly not going to throw her to the reporters," Han said, indicating farther down the hall. "What are you waiting for?"

"The verdict," she said dryly. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Sorry, Celestina. This is Lando Calrissian. Lando, this is Celestina Barone."

"Have we met before?" Celestina asked, studying his face intently. "You look very familiar."

Celestina stuck her hand out for a handshake, but Lando grabbed it and kissed the back of her hand.

"Maybe," he replied smoothly, "but I don't think I'd ever forget a woman as beautiful as you."

Celestina rolled her eyes at him, and before another word could come out from anyone in the group, the door opened. Carlist and Leia walked over to the. The other jury members nodded at Celestina but went on to brave the throngs of reporters, and the Chief Justice stood in the doorway, speaking with her assistant.

"Well?" Celestina asked.

"His public execution will take place in thirty minutes," Carlist said evenly.

"Thank the Force," Celestina murmured, visibly relaxing. "I hope it's painful. He deserves to pay for what he's done."

Han wrapped Leia in his arms and was murmuring into her hair.

"You are under no obligation to attend the execution," Justice Lucasta said, walking over to them.

Celestina nodded.

"Is there a back way out? I think that if one more reporter asks me about my relationship with Grand Moff, I won't be able to guarantee that I won't inflict bodily harm."

"Of course. I'll show you out right now."

Just then, the crowd of reporters erupted.

They all swiveled their heads to look back down towards the courtroom to find Grand Moff Fitzpatrick being led by two armed guards. Luke felt Celestina's unease through the Force, and Leia and Carlist saw the end of her lips twitch, something that always happened when she was scared ever since she was a little kid. To everyone else, she looked utterly serene.

Everyone tensed as he made his way down the hall, looking back and forth between him and Celestina. Suddenly, when he was a right in front of them, he lunged. However old he looked, he moved like a man in his twenties, breaking free from his guards and pinning Celestina against the wall before anyone even realized what happened. His hands tightened around her neck, making her gasp for air.

"You ungrateful little bitch," he hissed into her ear. "Do you have any idea what you've done? You've ruined everything!"

After a second to process, everyone jumped into action. The Chief Justice called for more security, and Carlist called for a medic, just in case. Luke and Leia went down the hall in opposite directions to close the doors that separated them from reporters and anyone else who came down the hall, and Han and Lando assisted the guards in pulling him off of her.

"Get…off…me," Celestina choked out when his fingers loosened ever so slightly.

"You don't get to order me around," he growled, tightening his hands around her neck.

One of the guards reached for his blaster and set it on stun just as Celestina stopped struggling and went limp against his hands. The blaster went off, echoing down the hallway. The Grand Moff fell to the floor like a dead tree. Luke and Carlist were immediately at Celestina's side, gripping each of her arms to keep her from going down herself. As soon as the hands released from her neck, Celestina coughed, almost choking in her desperation to fill her lungs. Purple, finger-shaped bruises were already beginning to show against her tanned skin.

Celestina remained perfectly still while the medic examined her quickly, coming to the conclusion that other than sore, she was perfectly fine. It wasn't until the Grand Moff had been carried out on a stretcher by four guards did she finally react to what had happened.

"Celestina?"

 _You ungrateful little child._

Suddenly she couldn't breathe. It was too many people, too many bright lights, too loud.

 _You will never amount to anything._

"She's having a panic attack."

 _We never should have selected you._

"Celestina, can you hear me?"

 _Your parents never wanted you._

"Celestina!"

 _They gave you to us willingly._

"I'm squeezing your hands."

 _You should feel lucky that I want you._

"Celestina, I need you to squeeze my hands. Or nod. Or even look at me."

 _You deserve everything you get_

"Somebody go find that medic!"

 _I can always do worse._

"Move Carlist. Let me try."

 _You owe me everything._

Celestina was only vaguely aware of the rough calloused hands releasing her and softer, smaller hands take their place. The new hands roughly pinched the skin of her wrist, twisting it in between the pad of their fingers. She inferred that it was supposed to hurt, but she only felt numb.

"Celestina, focus on my fingers. You're safe. He's gone, and he's never going to lay a hand on you again.

 _You're worthless._

"I've got a sedative. It should be just enough to calm her down but won't knock her out."

 _The galaxy would be better off without you._

Celestina felt a sharp prick on her upper arm. Why did her head hurt so much?

"Why is she clutching her head?"

"Her braids are too tight."

 _You have nothing!_

Practiced hands gently slid the pins out of her hair and unraveled her braid while gently massaging her aching scalp. Celestina almost cried from relief.

"Why is she still so tense?"

 _You are a burden on everyone around you._

"I have an idea."

Suddenly, Celestina's thoughts came grinding to a halt. She heard… Alderranian? It was a lullaby that her mother used to sing to her every time she was scared or upset. The reformed assassin slowly felt her body begin to relax, one tiny muscle at a time.

'Breathe in, breathe out."

Celestina took slow deep breaths, trying to match the person sitting opposite her. Eventually, once her breathing was back to normal, she slowly opened her eyes. Carlist was standing nearby, Luke and Lando were no longer there, the Chief Justice and Han were making sure no one entered their part of the hallway, and sitting across from her was Leia, still clutching her hands.

"Don't try to get up," Leia said gently.

"You sang in Alderranian," Celestina said absentmindedly. "That was the lullaby my…"

"That your mother sang to you. I know. That's why I chose it."

"Thank you."

Leia smiled at her for the first time since she arrived.

"Of course."

"You need to start seeing someone," Carlist said coming over. "It took us thirty minutes to get you back. Your anxiety is out of control."

"Do you happen to know someone who would be willing to treat me?" Carlist looked down at the floor. "I'm going to take that as a no."

"Celestina, you need to do something."

"I need to get out of here."

"We'll escort you outside. Luke and Lando should be waiting with speeders," Leia said gently, scooping up the pins that littered the floor. "Here. I'm assuming that you want to fix your hair."

Celestina took the pins to create a slightly less intricate version of the earlier one in record time, sticking the leftover pins in her pocket. Once she was standing, Carlist wrapped an arm around her waist.

"We need to move quickly if we want to escape the reporters."

Celestina let Carlist rush her out of the building but stopped at the last second.

"Thank you," she said, calling down the hallway to Leia.

She never got to hear her response.

 **AN: Sorry for the long wait! Please leave a review!**


	6. Author's Note

Hello Readers!

I apologize, this isn't a new chapter, and there will not be one for the foreseeable future. Here's why: I've noticed a change in my writing as of late, and it's not a good one. When I first staring publishing on this site a little over a year ago, all I wanted to do was write. Now, I do everything I can to avoid it.

I have unfortunately starting writing to please others, directing my plots and characters in the ways I thought readers wanted, not that way I did. I no longer recognize my own stories any more. I've also fallen into the trap of focusing more on the review/follows/favorites that I receive, rather than the writing itself.

Because of all of this, I've have made the decision to take a step back from writing. I don't know how long my hiatus will be or if I will ever come back to this story.

I felt you all deserved an explanation for why I suddenly dropped off the face of the earth because I always hated when stories were left unfinished with no explanation. I hope you all will understand where I am coming from and not come after me with pitchforks. Please don't hesitate to message me if you have any questions!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed/followed/favorited this story- you made me smile with every notification. I am forever grateful for your love and support!

-zoegrover


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